Sunday, July 10, 2011

The Myth of Love for Older Folks.....

This can't be the end of it ... can it?

I am a man lucky enough to have reached 70 years. Now we don’t like to hear the complaints that someone, especially a man, can find to talk about so I limit myself to only one complaint per day. The following is today’s effort.

The subject is sex for men who have reached their seventh decade. The complaint focuses on the apparent fact that it just doesn’t happen, at least not often enough. I am beginning to believe this is part of a world-wide conspiracy. It is accepted as fact and I’m certain that fact is based on a myth.

The myth is that love among older people is wise, mature, asexual — that all the wild oats of youth eventually get boiled down into some bland porridge called “companionship’’. This, I firmly believe, is the epitome of idiocy. People at any age, from very young to very old are capable of love. Of course it seems to happen that these affairs of the heart for the very young and very old often have a shorter lifespan than for those pesky middle years when binding commitments so easily occur.

Let me set the stage: reaching the grand old age of 70, a man enters into a world of limitations. He may be hale and hearty, healthy and vigorous, fit and full of fun, but he is finished. He might as well have his age branded on his forehead in burning numbers – he has passed his use by date.

I doubt that I’m alone with finding fault with this but nobody wants to hear a man complain so nothing is said. This is my turn to complain, though, so listen up.

For some time, and I can only speak for myself, I’ve noticed a particular form of discrimination. You can check this out for yourself by simply taking a look through the pages and pages of women seeking men on any of the popular internet dating sites. The list of available women thins out when getting close to my age group. Women about 65 and up have given up the search. They seem to have closed the doors and their minds on anything other than gardening or knitting. Is it any wonder that older men lust after younger women? Do you notice how, if an older man has an attractive, lusty, lovable woman on his arm she is of another nationality? Women from Bangkok, Bali or the Philippines don’t seem to have anti-old feelings.

You want more proof? This information comes in a study where the sexual habits and desires of people in the 75 to 85 age group were questioned. The result that I found interesting was that only 17% of those women interviewed considered themselves to be sexually active or wanting to be sexually active. With men in that group, 40% were or had the desire to be. That imbalance, in my view, doesn’t bode well for the more mature male.

Another study talked about the suspected increase of MSM relationships. MSM is in the popular vernacular simply men who have sex with males but do not regard themselves as gay.

A New York City survey that appeared in the September 19, 2006, issue of the Annals of Internal Medicine reported growing evidence that many men who have sex with men aren’t all gay or bisexual. A more recent study conducted by the US Centers for Disease Control upheld this assertion. In both cases the comment was made that such activity was more common in older men, those in the 70 to 80 age group.

So where does that leave us ‘oldies’? Without. Women I might want to get to know are over it, don’t want it or simply put, can’t be bothered. I look around the tennis court at my male competitors and I can see why. However when Mother Nature created all the parts that go into what makes up a man and woman, she was definitely on the female side of things; she overlooked including the same “I’m over it now” switch in men that was supplied to women.

If the ratio is 40% to 17% against me now, what the hell have I got to look forward to when I get into the next age group?

Here, Fido, come here, boy.

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