If I were a poet, this is what I’d write as a way to explain my exit....
This was drafted after investigating the business of cremation. Apparently part of the usual practice is for the funeral/cremation service to include a dressy, temporary coffin. No reason to purchase such an item only to then supply the heat. Typically, one merely 'rents' the coffin, which, following any memorial service, is set aside for the next 'guest'. With that in mind, this bit of doggerel was created.
(this is not a true statement ... there are laws in place limiting any coffin or casket to being used once and one time only. However that fact doesn't fit my idea of 'going out in a rented coffin.' So, understand, like so much of my scribbling, I'm just having fun here.)
(Key: McGuffin ⃰ ⃰ : an event in a film that drives the plot (coined by Alfred Hitchcock)
Tiffin ⃰ : (in India) a light meal
Now, on with the show!
Going out in a rented coffin...
Some say death is just another part of living, a part of nature,
Others are sure it’s a necessary step toward heaven.
I’ve long thought it was likely to be the fires of Hell in my future.
And now I’m headed into the fiery blaze in a rented coffin.
They tried to sell me on the solid wood, silver handled box
All I wanted was to make the trip without puffin.
Not dressed in a suit and tie, shoes not needed, not even sox.
Just lay me out, comb my beard, looking good in a rented coffin.
A wonderful life does come to an end, no complaints, oh, my friends
The years went by, not staying too tight to the McGuffin ⃰ ⃰ ,
I did things happily, knowing it all, sooner or later, would come to an end.
Keeping it simple, no fuss and no stress, going out in a rented coffin.
The bestest part, of all those years, that which made me oh, so proud,
Was, my daughter, so grown up after the good years as an elfin.
The family she brought, Peter and Becky so cute; Ryan at times, loud,
Now all gathered round, to see me go out, there in my rented coffin.
T’was a good life, no question about that, wouldn’t change a thing,
Lots of good times, many a good meal, even when it was but a tiffin ⃰ .
Looking back, remembering with a smile, makes me want to sing,
But no, that joy is no longer mine, not now, not in my rented coffin.
So take the ashes, once the fire is done
Down to the water, spread me out, and be laughin’
Know it was a full life, full of love and fun.
I made my escape just as I wanted, there in my rented coffin.